ignore it like it's pork

in the last year I've experienced a great many things
two of the most poignant being that
both of my maternal grandparents have passed away
and although I can't name or describe the place that is "away"
I must believe that they are in a good place
they have been one of the few
constants in my life
I say one - even though they were literally two, they were in fact joined as one
because after 70 years together, you sort of start blending
I have seen many changes in my life
and walked many paths
lived in 15 places
(well 16 if you count actual moves)
schooled in 11 places
(13 if you count going back to a school after taking a break to attend another)
worked in 11 places
(16 positions if you count promotions and repeat employment)
I have seen several people come in and out of my life
family is the only constant
and even they are starting to disappear
1 great grandmother, 2 uncles, 2 grandparents
and
countless others that came and went before and during my time
I come from a double brood of what I like to call a yin and yang family
polar opposites when it comes to types
both of my parents are one of seven children
my mother is one of five girls and two boys
a family full of estrogen
and
my father is one of five boys and two girls
a family full of testosterone
and I am one of one girl from what some may call a broken family
yet others may say is stitched together quite well
and I am also being one of two in a blended family that could use a little stirring
the oil and water seem quite separate
and what is thicker
blood or distance
in this last year of my life I have come to many realizations
I have done alot of thinking
soul searching
spent alot of time
alone
All-One
just little old me, myself and I
I've realized I'm going to have to live with myself for quite a long time
as far as longevity is considered
(between the 3 people that I can say I know and remember having lived and gone "away" & having gone there under natural circumstances have completed in accumulation a total of 276 years of living - so I figure I'm going to be here for quite some time)
I've realized that the world I live in is vastly huge
and incredibly small
and being that I have oh so much time that is slipping away terribly fast
I must move quickly
and see what I can
and do what I can
before it is gone
in the last year...
I have quit smoking
I have joined the Y
I have enrolled in school again
I have lost about 10 pounds
I have grown and kept 14 plants alive
I have also helped keep one small boy and his kitty companion alive
I have watched alot of Grey's Anatomy
I have read several books
I have stood on a volcano
I have swam in my mother ocean the rawest and most powerful earth force that I know
I have though I might go crazy
with loneliness
but I have survived
it has been a long year
and it will only get longer
but the lifetime it grows in becomes shorter
every day
and I vow to myself today
to promise to live each day
to it's fullest
and grasp and appreciate
every blissful moment of blessing
and enjoy every small bit of LOVE-ly-ness
I will try to find joy in each lesson
to see truth in all understandings
I will keep putting one foot in front of the other
and try to trust
that my mother
goddess
earth
universal glow
will keep me in it's circular
pattern
and keep on turning me
on
and
around
until the end of time