ok so maybe I'm one of those tree hugging, granola eating peace marching earth mamas
but
I've been a bit perplexed about kids and gunplay lately
my son has had a recent spell of aggressive behavior that has me ultra aware of violence as a general past time for some folks - it seems to be an acceptable thing for people to engage in the viewing of violent movies, partake in the enjoyment of tremendously violent video and or computer gaming.... we've all seen testosterone spewing from a male or two in an either innocent or heartfelt display of barbaric behaviors - and lately even some females have been seen partaking in a Jerry Springer brawl or two.... is this all part of human nature?
are we all predestined to lash out in aggressive behaviors and enjoy the viewing of violent acts?
I understand that at a certain stage in our development we all explore the world through play
we pretend - make believe - act out the world around us in order to make sense of it
but is it okay to condone violence in our play?
and say boys will be boys - sure you can have another cap gun
sure let's wrestle around for a while and then stop when someone gets hurt
or just say "it'll be alright tuff guy" and keep on going
the world is full of many dangerous and intriguing things
but why do we only permit our children to engage in violence
why not hand them a bag of sugar and say let's pretend to be coke heads for a while
or maybe make little play-doh pipes and fill them up with play-doh hash - just for fun
"ok Suzzie - you be the prostitute and I'll be the pimp - I know mommy has some fishnets around here and daddy has that cool hat with a feather in it"
why are we so quick to play bang bang you're dead and hand our children toy guns
when I'm sure that not a single one of us anxiously awaits the day they start out on their first murder spree (when they of course will only be shooting the "bad guys")
I mean how often do you see young boys running off to play "let's go hunting" with their friends
it's always cowboys, cops and pirates they're playing and there's always a bad guy involved
sure we all know the world is full of good vs evil
but why always the vs
can't we just accept that you can't have one without the other and just get on with it
and McDonalds - come one now.... the whole fast food world
how many times must there be a cheapy plastic toy in my son's meal pack that is of a character from a PG-13 movie.... since when do 13+ year olds regularly consume Happy Meals?
(I know you're all thinking what's this tree hugging hippy mama taking her kid to Micky D's for anyways - but damn even us co-op shoppers need a meal on the go sometimes)
I may be rambling a bit here - but I'm trying to make sense of the world around me
(I may be an adult now, but I still need help making sense of it all)
I continually notice things we as a culture partake in and condone without really understanding
and I wonder why
why do we continue to teach and practice things that are in direct parallel to what we seem to hold dear as morals and values.... or are we really lacking both as a whole
what is it we're really doing with this world we live in
and what kind of future do we hope to create?Buying yourself whole life insurance is great and depending on your insurance situation you may want to take some time to research differences in insurance before investing your money. Finding great life insurance rates online is easy and getting a life insurance quote worth the time.
Monday, July 30, 2007
what is purity?
the questions I ponder
are ageless
I think
timeless versions of a repeat
each generation wonders
each new life breathes it's potency
where do we come from?
where do we go when we're through?
the spectacular cycle
of a so called 9 month journey
40 weeks actually and sometimes more and others less
miraculously a new life grows
tiny egg and sperm colliding
the utter chances - one in a zillion or whatever it is they say
the actuality of you being you and even coming to be
are practically zilch
and yet here you are
and here am I
and one day our life becomes another
as we pass from one stage into another
our bodies constantly regenerating themselves
cells and atoms being reborn
new heights and hairs and hours
we grow and change and move
through this journey
I was child once
and suddenly thrown - dropped - transformed
into adult
and families change and friends
and we keep on going
looking backwards and forwards
but forever really NOW
now is the moment that slips away so easily
and yet it's always right there
we look into heritage and try to trace
our beginnings
and if we're lucky we know the moment we caught our first breath
in this current life vessel
and one day this casing will wither away
joining or is it rejoining the earth
what will we become?
what have we become?
I am busy thinking
and asking
and daring to know
I look around for a secret key
a door opening into pure understanding
and beauty beyond all belief
I believe there is a place
and we've either all been there or are on our way
back
this place of pure
is within
and without
and all around and inside
and if you dare to look
maybe you will see
or at least keep looking........
are ageless
I think
timeless versions of a repeat
each generation wonders
each new life breathes it's potency
where do we come from?
where do we go when we're through?
the spectacular cycle
of a so called 9 month journey
40 weeks actually and sometimes more and others less
miraculously a new life grows
tiny egg and sperm colliding
the utter chances - one in a zillion or whatever it is they say
the actuality of you being you and even coming to be
are practically zilch
and yet here you are
and here am I
and one day our life becomes another
as we pass from one stage into another
our bodies constantly regenerating themselves
cells and atoms being reborn
new heights and hairs and hours
we grow and change and move
through this journey
I was child once
and suddenly thrown - dropped - transformed
into adult
and families change and friends
and we keep on going
looking backwards and forwards
but forever really NOW
now is the moment that slips away so easily
and yet it's always right there
we look into heritage and try to trace
our beginnings
and if we're lucky we know the moment we caught our first breath
in this current life vessel
and one day this casing will wither away
joining or is it rejoining the earth
what will we become?
what have we become?
I am busy thinking
and asking
and daring to know
I look around for a secret key
a door opening into pure understanding
and beauty beyond all belief
I believe there is a place
and we've either all been there or are on our way
back
this place of pure
is within
and without
and all around and inside
and if you dare to look
maybe you will see
or at least keep looking........
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
ignore it like it's pork
in the last year I've experienced a great many things
two of the most poignant being that
both of my maternal grandparents have passed away
and although I can't name or describe the place that is "away"
I must believe that they are in a good place
they have been one of the few
constants in my life
I say one - even though they were literally two, they were in fact joined as one
because after 70 years together, you sort of start blending
I have seen many changes in my life
and walked many paths
lived in 15 places
(well 16 if you count actual moves)
schooled in 11 places
(13 if you count going back to a school after taking a break to attend another)
worked in 11 places
(16 positions if you count promotions and repeat employment)
I have seen several people come in and out of my life
family is the only constant
and even they are starting to disappear
1 great grandmother, 2 uncles, 2 grandparents
and
countless others that came and went before and during my time
I come from a double brood of what I like to call a yin and yang family
polar opposites when it comes to types
both of my parents are one of seven children
my mother is one of five girls and two boys
a family full of estrogen
and
my father is one of five boys and two girls
a family full of testosterone
and I am one of one girl from what some may call a broken family
yet others may say is stitched together quite well
and I am also being one of two in a blended family that could use a little stirring
the oil and water seem quite separate
and what is thicker
blood or distance
in this last year of my life I have come to many realizations
I have done alot of thinking
soul searching
spent alot of time
alone
All-One
just little old me, myself and I
I've realized I'm going to have to live with myself for quite a long time
as far as longevity is considered
(between the 3 people that I can say I know and remember having lived and gone "away" & having gone there under natural circumstances have completed in accumulation a total of 276 years of living - so I figure I'm going to be here for quite some time)
I've realized that the world I live in is vastly huge
and incredibly small
and being that I have oh so much time that is slipping away terribly fast
I must move quickly
and see what I can
and do what I can
before it is gone
in the last year...
I have quit smoking
I have joined the Y
I have enrolled in school again
I have lost about 10 pounds
I have grown and kept 14 plants alive
I have also helped keep one small boy and his kitty companion alive
I have watched alot of Grey's Anatomy
I have read several books
I have stood on a volcano
I have swam in my mother ocean the rawest and most powerful earth force that I know
I have though I might go crazy
with loneliness
but I have survived
it has been a long year
and it will only get longer
but the lifetime it grows in becomes shorter
every day
and I vow to myself today
to promise to live each day
to it's fullest
and grasp and appreciate
every blissful moment of blessing
and enjoy every small bit of LOVE-ly-ness
I will try to find joy in each lesson
to see truth in all understandings
I will keep putting one foot in front of the other
and try to trust
that my mother
goddess
earth
universal glow
will keep me in it's circular
pattern
and keep on turning me
on
and
around
until the end of time
two of the most poignant being that
both of my maternal grandparents have passed away
and although I can't name or describe the place that is "away"
I must believe that they are in a good place
they have been one of the few
constants in my life
I say one - even though they were literally two, they were in fact joined as one
because after 70 years together, you sort of start blending
I have seen many changes in my life
and walked many paths
lived in 15 places
(well 16 if you count actual moves)
schooled in 11 places
(13 if you count going back to a school after taking a break to attend another)
worked in 11 places
(16 positions if you count promotions and repeat employment)
I have seen several people come in and out of my life
family is the only constant
and even they are starting to disappear
1 great grandmother, 2 uncles, 2 grandparents
and
countless others that came and went before and during my time
I come from a double brood of what I like to call a yin and yang family
polar opposites when it comes to types
both of my parents are one of seven children
my mother is one of five girls and two boys
a family full of estrogen
and
my father is one of five boys and two girls
a family full of testosterone
and I am one of one girl from what some may call a broken family
yet others may say is stitched together quite well
and I am also being one of two in a blended family that could use a little stirring
the oil and water seem quite separate
and what is thicker
blood or distance
in this last year of my life I have come to many realizations
I have done alot of thinking
soul searching
spent alot of time
alone
All-One
just little old me, myself and I
I've realized I'm going to have to live with myself for quite a long time
as far as longevity is considered
(between the 3 people that I can say I know and remember having lived and gone "away" & having gone there under natural circumstances have completed in accumulation a total of 276 years of living - so I figure I'm going to be here for quite some time)
I've realized that the world I live in is vastly huge
and incredibly small
and being that I have oh so much time that is slipping away terribly fast
I must move quickly
and see what I can
and do what I can
before it is gone
in the last year...
I have quit smoking
I have joined the Y
I have enrolled in school again
I have lost about 10 pounds
I have grown and kept 14 plants alive
I have also helped keep one small boy and his kitty companion alive
I have watched alot of Grey's Anatomy
I have read several books
I have stood on a volcano
I have swam in my mother ocean the rawest and most powerful earth force that I know
I have though I might go crazy
with loneliness
but I have survived
it has been a long year
and it will only get longer
but the lifetime it grows in becomes shorter
every day
and I vow to myself today
to promise to live each day
to it's fullest
and grasp and appreciate
every blissful moment of blessing
and enjoy every small bit of LOVE-ly-ness
I will try to find joy in each lesson
to see truth in all understandings
I will keep putting one foot in front of the other
and try to trust
that my mother
goddess
earth
universal glow
will keep me in it's circular
pattern
and keep on turning me
on
and
around
until the end of time
Sunday, July 15, 2007
going on ninety
I can't imagine what it feels like
I can barely watch it
the frailness
of an aging body
the frailness
of youth
it's that in betweeness
that imaginary
tuffness
we spend so much time trying to
grow
that once we get there
we wonder how did it happen
where did it go
I can't imagine what it feels like
to let that all go
what do you see
when your eyes go a wandering?
what do they say
when they become watered
is it sadness or joy
in the end
I hold your hand close
and love you dearly
I think back to all the days we've spent
all the melodies played
and ears made happy
I feel grateful
and I feel sorrow
I am filled with emotion
beyond comprehension
for what I do not know
how can I understand
I wonder where you'll go
when you do
go
I hope she's there waiting for you
arms open
wrapping you in warmth and love
and you can feel at ease
and peace will take over
your pain washed away
I will hear you when you're gone
I will hear you in your song
when you're gone
you'll still be here
in my heart that is
right where you belong
I can barely watch it
the frailness
of an aging body
the frailness
of youth
it's that in betweeness
that imaginary
tuffness
we spend so much time trying to
grow
that once we get there
we wonder how did it happen
where did it go
I can't imagine what it feels like
to let that all go
what do you see
when your eyes go a wandering?
what do they say
when they become watered
is it sadness or joy
in the end
I hold your hand close
and love you dearly
I think back to all the days we've spent
all the melodies played
and ears made happy
I feel grateful
and I feel sorrow
I am filled with emotion
beyond comprehension
for what I do not know
how can I understand
I wonder where you'll go
when you do
go
I hope she's there waiting for you
arms open
wrapping you in warmth and love
and you can feel at ease
and peace will take over
your pain washed away
I will hear you when you're gone
I will hear you in your song
when you're gone
you'll still be here
in my heart that is
right where you belong
Thursday, July 12, 2007
half
I'm not really sure
whether it's 1/2 full or 1/2 empty
really it could be either
or neither
totally unexplainable
like those bottles
where when you turn them upside down to feed baby dolly
the liquid disappears
heading to what seems to be nowhere
or mid-air
or
somewhere in between
right in the middle
like half
(empty or full)
my Libran scales should be happy
I'm balancing perfectly equally
between
either
here or there
but they're not
I feel tipped
toppled
not quite sure really - whether it is that I'm half empty or half full
whether it's 1/2 full or 1/2 empty
really it could be either
or neither
totally unexplainable
like those bottles
where when you turn them upside down to feed baby dolly
the liquid disappears
heading to what seems to be nowhere
or mid-air
or
somewhere in between
right in the middle
like half
(empty or full)
my Libran scales should be happy
I'm balancing perfectly equally
between
either
here or there
but they're not
I feel tipped
toppled
not quite sure really - whether it is that I'm half empty or half full
Saturday, July 7, 2007
verbal debri
We live in an age of information...
technology
history
science
self help
medical miracles
metaphysics
Our minds are well aware of oh so much
and yet we walk around
so blissfully ignorant
or is it innocent?
We take the time to
click & send
point & shoot
blah blah blah
who really gives a hoot?
so, Oprah spends her loot
and saves a few
but are we ever really saved?
when we go on
day after day
making the same mistakes
over and over
repeating history (herstory?)
circular
perpendicular
perplexity
I am left mostly dumbfounded
and
numb bounded
I sit here knowing in my brain of all the many things I want to do...
to accomplish
to believe in
and support
and yet the vast majority of the time
I end up sitting here going
"what the fuk?"
system overload....
it's much to big to cope
I need another toke
Separate but equal
or so I've heard
we all want to top the rest
somehow measure up...
we need more stuff
iPod
laptop
high def big screen
but what is it all, but a mere distraction
keeping us from what?
are we better off comfortably numb?
or should our awareness seep into daily doings?
should we
RISE
and take a stand for things we truly believe?
or just go back to
making sure our 7 yr old daughters have blackberries
and skirts so short their panties show
high heels lip gloss
my four year old son - thinks he's grown
and here I am 28 years old and still a big 'ole baby
who might just maybe grow up one day
or do we ever?
time and time again
I see folks supposedly grown
acting like elementary
my dear - do we need to play these games?
my stuff's cooler than yours
you're not my friend anymore
I think I'll bomb your country
killing helps so much...
now the world's a better place huh?
more gravesites
less landfills
throw away your problems
and let them melt away into a heap
of recycled mush
and then go buy some more
so you can show off and feel better than the neighbor
that thy's 'sposed to be luvin
It's no wonder I can't sleep at night
when at times even the small joys I find in life seem to grow
insignificant
in the looming shadow of all the greed - evil - destruction
& senseless acts of anger - hurt
my heart weeps at times
and I try to find the beauty
hidden 'round every corner
in each dark ally
I grow curiouser and curioser
every day
just as Alice in her land of wonder
where will we all be
5 years from now?
5 days even...
and even more unfathomable
5 decades
centuries?
millions of years from now...
if on this path we stay
will there even be
a We?
and does it even matter....
technology
history
science
self help
medical miracles
metaphysics
Our minds are well aware of oh so much
and yet we walk around
so blissfully ignorant
or is it innocent?
We take the time to
click & send
point & shoot
blah blah blah
who really gives a hoot?
so, Oprah spends her loot
and saves a few
but are we ever really saved?
when we go on
day after day
making the same mistakes
over and over
repeating history (herstory?)
circular
perpendicular
perplexity
I am left mostly dumbfounded
and
numb bounded
I sit here knowing in my brain of all the many things I want to do...
to accomplish
to believe in
and support
and yet the vast majority of the time
I end up sitting here going
"what the fuk?"
system overload....
it's much to big to cope
I need another toke
Separate but equal
or so I've heard
we all want to top the rest
somehow measure up...
we need more stuff
iPod
laptop
high def big screen
but what is it all, but a mere distraction
keeping us from what?
are we better off comfortably numb?
or should our awareness seep into daily doings?
should we
RISE
and take a stand for things we truly believe?
or just go back to
making sure our 7 yr old daughters have blackberries
and skirts so short their panties show
high heels lip gloss
my four year old son - thinks he's grown
and here I am 28 years old and still a big 'ole baby
who might just maybe grow up one day
or do we ever?
time and time again
I see folks supposedly grown
acting like elementary
my dear - do we need to play these games?
my stuff's cooler than yours
you're not my friend anymore
I think I'll bomb your country
killing helps so much...
now the world's a better place huh?
more gravesites
less landfills
throw away your problems
and let them melt away into a heap
of recycled mush
and then go buy some more
so you can show off and feel better than the neighbor
that thy's 'sposed to be luvin
It's no wonder I can't sleep at night
when at times even the small joys I find in life seem to grow
insignificant
in the looming shadow of all the greed - evil - destruction
& senseless acts of anger - hurt
my heart weeps at times
and I try to find the beauty
hidden 'round every corner
in each dark ally
I grow curiouser and curioser
every day
just as Alice in her land of wonder
where will we all be
5 years from now?
5 days even...
and even more unfathomable
5 decades
centuries?
millions of years from now...
if on this path we stay
will there even be
a We?
and does it even matter....
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