Tuesday, March 2, 2010

sometimes


.... you start with nothing and build from scratch
sometimes you have everything you need and it's still not enough
building yourself up
brick by brick
we stack things up
we try to go higher
how many blocks can we add
before it grows too tall
and starts to wobble
remember?
the pure joy...
of playing blocks, and stacking up
only to let them all tumble
and start again
dominoes
neatly lined.... and then
one small tap
and there they go
the miniscule moment of power
in your fingertip
you can make it
and you can destroy it
&
how you feel
once it's tumbled crumbled
ANGRY
SAD
EXCITED ...to start again?
in each moment
you can choose
you have a choice
the choice
is
yours

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I'm back...


I'm the girl who posts like a gajillion status updates on Facebook everyday - I was really into myspace blogging for a while, that is until I realized I was too old for that bullshit and decided to join Facebook instead, now I realize I just like to write and I like to share bits and pieces of my brain mumblings with the world, I like to feel connected to people, my family and friends, I like to release my worries, fears, dreams, and hopes.... I'm going to release alot here it will not be for everyone but maybe for some and mostly for me to just be and say what I will

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Twin Cities Most Eligible Bachelorette!!!

Yes - that will be my title when I win the Vita.mn contest I'm entered in if everyone who reads this votes for me!!!!

Tell everyone you know to cast a ballot for me!!!! This time of year there is enough craziness around elections and voting and candidates and nominees.... save the drama for your mama and screw the rest of em

VOTE FOR A DESERVING WOMAN SUCH AS MYSELF @

www.vita.mn/hotties

PS anyone who votes for me is invited to my big celebration at Soundbar when I win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

mama's got a new lullabye

I just finished watching Waitress
and maybe it's been a looooong while since I've seen a movie made for adults
but I really enjoyed it
and I've decided I want to learn how to bake pie
(anyone wanna teach me?)
and I've started practicing my pitch and tune and all that so Calvin's not scared when I try to sing my new favorite song to him.... hahaha!
anywho - my new motto is start fresh - like Joe says....
startin fresh is a good thing, specially this time of year-
and specially once I get my loan money and I can get my fat ass back into the Y!!!!!!!!

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

surrender

not sure if I'm going against all the rules of bloggery by reposting someone else's words... but I just had to share!!!!

----------------------------------------------------
** ARTICLE: Surrender to Your Dreams –By Kiernan Antares **
----------------------------------------------------

Many of us as children live with vivid imaginations, hopes and dreams of what
we’d like to do or become when we grow up. But somewhere along the lines our
beliefs in our dreams begin to diminish as we are told they are silly or
unrealistic. Over time we lose sight of what once made us feel alive and our
dreams become buried so deep under other people’s expectations of us we forget
they even existed.

Surprisingly even countless successful people live in this illusion. You know
them, perhaps you are even one of them. To everyone else it appears like they
have great jobs, earn lots of money, and it may seem like they are perfectly
suited to their career. Yet if you ask them if they are happy they may likely
tell you they don’t feel fulfilled in their chosen profession. An integral piece
is missing. They have lost touch with their passions and feel out of alignment
with their purpose in life.

Being disconnected from our Spirit manifests imbalances in many areas of our
life. Chronic feelings of anger, stress, fearfulness, easily upset or emotional
outbursts can be signs of being out of synch with your soul purpose or passion.
Restlessness, jealousy, poor time management, procrastination, depression, and
pushing one self too hard to achieve are other signals to watch.

Without questioning the deeper meaning in our lives many people mistakenly
believe letting go and moving on to something else is the answer. It isn’t. That
feeling of emptiness or disconnection will follow us wherever we go, unless we
ask the most important fundamental questions there are. What do I want? What
makes me feel alive? To assist you in determining the answer to these questions
think about moments in your life when you were happiest. When what you were
doing gave you joy and confidence.

Every time you think you have the answer, ask it again, and again until it makes
your pulse quicken and stirs something so deep inside you know with absolute
certainty you can no longer live without it. Then you have touched your
uniqueness, your purpose for being. It can be the most significant moment of
your life. The reason for asking the questions over repeatedly is to ensure that
you move past what your ego believes you are meant to do, discover your Truth,
and then live it without doubt.

Of course, that’s just the beginning of your journey for healing and
rediscovery. For some it may mean a whole new direction in their lives, for
others perhaps just a few minor tweaks here and there, adding their new
perspective or level of consciousness to their existing circumstances will
create the fulfillment necessary. Abandoning the current situation altogether
may not be the answer. Finding the right balance is the key but in all cases it
will take careful thought and planning to integrate these dreams throughout the
various areas of your life.

Our quest is to connect not only to our soul but also to the world, creating a
life of meaning. In years past, I often dreamed of disappearing to a cabin in
the woods. Living a life separate from chaos, in peace and simplicity. But where
would be the challenge to grow and blossom into the wonderful people we are
meant to be? No, the answer is not hiding ourselves in solitaire but to discover
our uniqueness, share our gifts with the world, and live a happy, limitless and
fulfilling life. As Neale Donald Walsch says in his books Conversations with
God, create yourself “in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever
you held about who you are.”

Throughout this process you must learn to master the ability to listen to
yourself first and last. Most people have gotten into the habit of listening to
others in determining what they will do, what you like or dislike, and how you
to respond to external factors. Checking in with yourself first is a skill that
requires patience and time to develop as it means rewiring the way you think and
act but it can be done with constant monitoring of how you feel physically and
emotionally.

How do you know if it’s your soul purpose or your ego in the driver’s seat? It’s
easy to detect but not always easy to accept and change if your ego is ruling.
You will feel fulfilled, at peace, and joy will permeate your existence if you
are in alignment with your Spirit. Everything you do will flow without
resistance. The universe will support you in your endeavors and provide you with
opportunities to heal what needs to be healed and learn the necessary skills to
carry you forward.

On the other hand if fame, fortune, power, and the need for approval is
motivating you, check in with ego and bring it in balance with your soul to
avoid straying away from your path and coming up against unwanted struggles.
Thankfully though, it’s not necessary to abandon your ego altogether. Janet
Amare says it nicely in her book Soul Purpose, “The better we are able to
harness the power of both the ego and the soul, and act on the inspiration of
both, the closer we will be to our true purpose.”

There is so much life to live. Feel the burning fires inside and give up the
fears within. Take a chance. Surrender to your dreams and let the familiar solid
ground beneath your feet transform into a fluid unknown force capable of letting
you soar to unbelievable heights on the wings of Angels. Hold your dreams in
your arms, nurture them, and don’t let them go. Your soul, your dreams and your
purpose are the reasons you exist. Make a commitment to discover your dreams.
Right here. Right now. There is no better time.

Friday, November 30, 2007

heart’s a flutter

We only get this chance once a lifetime
this chance to live our dreams out
to follow our heart's desire
to find happiness
The chance lasts a lifetime
but only one
no more - no less
just one
But deep within and all wrapped up in your single chance
you have hundreds of months
thousands of days
millions of minutes
in which you can make a difference
Each and every second - you have a choice
to choose your fate
your destiny
the "predetermined path"
is determined by you...
And what will you do?
Where will you go?
Will you let anyone stand in your path?
Take anyone along for the ride?
only time will tell...
and though we seemingly have lots
it's speeding up on us
and the clock tick tocks
and my heart lies open
stretching towards the light
in the twinkling night sky
as I decide to choose...........
just what it is my heart desires

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

it should be a law!!!!!

just thought I'd share a massive pet peeve of mine with ya'll

don't you think it should be a law that all public restrooms have coat hooks in them? I mean really, chances are if you're using a public restroom in the first place you're going to be at least carrying your purse with you (well maybe this bulletin is mostly for the ladies) and we live in MN - it gets damn cold and nasty and we wear big puffy jackets that are usually hard to keep on while we're usin the pisser - and if it's raining we have an umbrelly - I mean DAMN... who wants to put their shit down of the floor of a dirty ass bathroom or try to juggle it while hovering over the toilet??

come one now public establishments - go easy on us ladies will ya!!!!
Have a lil luv!!!!

I mean geez - sometimes we don't even want our kids to touch the nasty ground in there

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