Twin Cities Most Eligible Bachelorette!!!

Yes - that will be my title when I win the Vita.mn contest I'm entered in if everyone who reads this votes for me!!!!

Tell everyone you know to cast a ballot for me!!!! This time of year there is enough craziness around elections and voting and candidates and nominees.... save the drama for your mama and screw the rest of em

VOTE FOR A DESERVING WOMAN SUCH AS MYSELF @

www.vita.mn/hotties

PS anyone who votes for me is invited to my big celebration at Soundbar when I win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mama's got a new lullabye

I just finished watching Waitress
and maybe it's been a looooong while since I've seen a movie made for adults
but I really enjoyed it
and I've decided I want to learn how to bake pie
(anyone wanna teach me?)
and I've started practicing my pitch and tune and all that so Calvin's not scared when I try to sing my new favorite song to him.... hahaha!
anywho - my new motto is start fresh - like Joe says....
startin fresh is a good thing, specially this time of year-
and specially once I get my loan money and I can get my fat ass back into the Y!!!!!!!!

surrender

not sure if I'm going against all the rules of bloggery by reposting someone else's words... but I just had to share!!!!

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** ARTICLE: Surrender to Your Dreams –By Kiernan Antares **
----------------------------------------------------

Many of us as children live with vivid imaginations, hopes and dreams of what
we’d like to do or become when we grow up. But somewhere along the lines our
beliefs in our dreams begin to diminish as we are told they are silly or
unrealistic. Over time we lose sight of what once made us feel alive and our
dreams become buried so deep under other people’s expectations of us we forget
they even existed.

Surprisingly even countless successful people live in this illusion. You know
them, perhaps you are even one of them. To everyone else it appears like they
have great jobs, earn lots of money, and it may seem like they are perfectly
suited to their career. Yet if you ask them if they are happy they may likely
tell you they don’t feel fulfilled in their chosen profession. An integral piece
is missing. They have lost touch with their passions and feel out of alignment
with their purpose in life.

Being disconnected from our Spirit manifests imbalances in many areas of our
life. Chronic feelings of anger, stress, fearfulness, easily upset or emotional
outbursts can be signs of being out of synch with your soul purpose or passion.
Restlessness, jealousy, poor time management, procrastination, depression, and
pushing one self too hard to achieve are other signals to watch.

Without questioning the deeper meaning in our lives many people mistakenly
believe letting go and moving on to something else is the answer. It isn’t. That
feeling of emptiness or disconnection will follow us wherever we go, unless we
ask the most important fundamental questions there are. What do I want? What
makes me feel alive? To assist you in determining the answer to these questions
think about moments in your life when you were happiest. When what you were
doing gave you joy and confidence.

Every time you think you have the answer, ask it again, and again until it makes
your pulse quicken and stirs something so deep inside you know with absolute
certainty you can no longer live without it. Then you have touched your
uniqueness, your purpose for being. It can be the most significant moment of
your life. The reason for asking the questions over repeatedly is to ensure that
you move past what your ego believes you are meant to do, discover your Truth,
and then live it without doubt.

Of course, that’s just the beginning of your journey for healing and
rediscovery. For some it may mean a whole new direction in their lives, for
others perhaps just a few minor tweaks here and there, adding their new
perspective or level of consciousness to their existing circumstances will
create the fulfillment necessary. Abandoning the current situation altogether
may not be the answer. Finding the right balance is the key but in all cases it
will take careful thought and planning to integrate these dreams throughout the
various areas of your life.

Our quest is to connect not only to our soul but also to the world, creating a
life of meaning. In years past, I often dreamed of disappearing to a cabin in
the woods. Living a life separate from chaos, in peace and simplicity. But where
would be the challenge to grow and blossom into the wonderful people we are
meant to be? No, the answer is not hiding ourselves in solitaire but to discover
our uniqueness, share our gifts with the world, and live a happy, limitless and
fulfilling life. As Neale Donald Walsch says in his books Conversations with
God, create yourself “in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever
you held about who you are.”

Throughout this process you must learn to master the ability to listen to
yourself first and last. Most people have gotten into the habit of listening to
others in determining what they will do, what you like or dislike, and how you
to respond to external factors. Checking in with yourself first is a skill that
requires patience and time to develop as it means rewiring the way you think and
act but it can be done with constant monitoring of how you feel physically and
emotionally.

How do you know if it’s your soul purpose or your ego in the driver’s seat? It’s
easy to detect but not always easy to accept and change if your ego is ruling.
You will feel fulfilled, at peace, and joy will permeate your existence if you
are in alignment with your Spirit. Everything you do will flow without
resistance. The universe will support you in your endeavors and provide you with
opportunities to heal what needs to be healed and learn the necessary skills to
carry you forward.

On the other hand if fame, fortune, power, and the need for approval is
motivating you, check in with ego and bring it in balance with your soul to
avoid straying away from your path and coming up against unwanted struggles.
Thankfully though, it’s not necessary to abandon your ego altogether. Janet
Amare says it nicely in her book Soul Purpose, “The better we are able to
harness the power of both the ego and the soul, and act on the inspiration of
both, the closer we will be to our true purpose.”

There is so much life to live. Feel the burning fires inside and give up the
fears within. Take a chance. Surrender to your dreams and let the familiar solid
ground beneath your feet transform into a fluid unknown force capable of letting
you soar to unbelievable heights on the wings of Angels. Hold your dreams in
your arms, nurture them, and don’t let them go. Your soul, your dreams and your
purpose are the reasons you exist. Make a commitment to discover your dreams.
Right here. Right now. There is no better time.

heart’s a flutter

We only get this chance once a lifetime
this chance to live our dreams out
to follow our heart's desire
to find happiness
The chance lasts a lifetime
but only one
no more - no less
just one
But deep within and all wrapped up in your single chance
you have hundreds of months
thousands of days
millions of minutes
in which you can make a difference
Each and every second - you have a choice
to choose your fate
your destiny
the "predetermined path"
is determined by you...
And what will you do?
Where will you go?
Will you let anyone stand in your path?
Take anyone along for the ride?
only time will tell...
and though we seemingly have lots
it's speeding up on us
and the clock tick tocks
and my heart lies open
stretching towards the light
in the twinkling night sky
as I decide to choose...........
just what it is my heart desires

it should be a law!!!!!

just thought I'd share a massive pet peeve of mine with ya'll

don't you think it should be a law that all public restrooms have coat hooks in them? I mean really, chances are if you're using a public restroom in the first place you're going to be at least carrying your purse with you (well maybe this bulletin is mostly for the ladies) and we live in MN - it gets damn cold and nasty and we wear big puffy jackets that are usually hard to keep on while we're usin the pisser - and if it's raining we have an umbrelly - I mean DAMN... who wants to put their shit down of the floor of a dirty ass bathroom or try to juggle it while hovering over the toilet??

come one now public establishments - go easy on us ladies will ya!!!!
Have a lil luv!!!!

I mean geez - sometimes we don't even want our kids to touch the nasty ground in there

ma thinks too hard - again.....

Current mood: contemplative

BEWARE - this one's a little lengthy!!!!

it's quite possible that my brain may implode one day due to the many frazzled thoughts that drift in and out of my consciousness

because of the stretching and manipulating I've been doing to my head recently in school - I find my thoughts spiraling out of control at times

and so here I am to spew them forth again, in my traditional manner of random idiosyncratic ramblings

I've been noticing lately how so much of life is interconnected.... I'm taking 5 classes now, and I can't tell you how many times I've had to stop and ask myself why they couldn't all have been combined into just one - it really would make things a lot easier on my schedule

Most of my classes center around communication
Keyboarding - I'm doing it right now to communicate to you all
Fundamentals of Business Computers - well I guess computers are definitely medium of communication
Business English - learning proper gramme will help me to communicate appropriately when I'm working in a stuffy office environment
Interpersonal Communication - duh
Business Culture and Communication - 'nother duh

so since I've mostly been doing a lot of thinking lately, I've been pondering the power of thought and what sort of affect (or is it effect?) or influence it has on communication

how much of what you think actually gets morphed into words?

what is the level of importance placed on those hidden things we keep wrapped in our thoughts and how does that relate to our communication with others?

people often misinterpret actions or even words based on their own perception of what's going on.... in other words, their hidden thoughts and beliefs have had a great impact on their supposed reality

we often grow frustrated or aggravated when our thoughts aren't considered - but how can we when they are mostly hidden?

maybe because we put so much effort forth and spend so much time on our thoughts - we unconsciously expect others to be in some way aware of them?

we live in a culture where we place a high amount of value on our individuality - I wonder what price we pay when it comes to communication when we consider this? how much communication is avoided or cut short due to the fact that who we are communicating with, because of their differences, may not be a part of the reality we have created for ourselves?

why do we limit ourselves so?

our culture has also become highly dependent on technology as our major source of communication - cell phones, web cams and email have replaced land lines, face to face encounters and letter writing - television, iPods and Web sites have replaced plays, concerts and community meetings. Sure, a lot of the things we've essentially replaced are still around and being used by many, but the impact of them has shifted. We have grown bored and impatient with traditional modes of communication and we crave fast, impersonal, and highly visual flashes of information instead of close personal contact that seems to be too intimate and take too long - taking too much away from our busy individualistic lives.

So today on my way home for lunch, as I'm waiting at the bus stop, I start to think. Out of the 7 or so other people waiting in the shelter with me, at least 4 of them are on their cell phones, either texting, checking the Internet or playing games. We are all interconnected, crammed together within the shelter of the bus stop, probably all struggling with the pressures of being in college, and yet we all stay highly distanced from each other. Not one of us thinks to say hello, or spark up a conversation. We all have our own distinct style and personality - I can tell this by the way we look, smell, act - yet we all have things in common that we could build off of with communication. I started thinking about how our culture values individuality and how if I were at a bus stop in another country maybe people would be speaking to one another instead of being glued to their cell phones. People might focus on their similarities instead of their differences. And then, as I'm riding the bus home today I noticed something else related to communication. I was trying to manage my clumsy wheely backpack, my unbuttoned jacket and my purse - we all know how unstable a bus ride can be - so I was in a constant state of juggling trying to make sure the wheely backpack stayed upright, my purse stayed on my lap, and my unbuttoned jacket stayed wrapped snugly around my cold body. As I was gathering my things and readying myself to get off at my stop, there was a man on the bus who started chuckling and said to me that I didn't have to worry, no one was going to steal my stuff. I might add that this man was African American and most likely mistook my shuffling and reorganizing as a sign of fear and worry for the safety of my belongings, he undoubtedly misread my actions as a sign of prejudice being as he was the only person in the back of the bus with me at that time. I chuckled a bit with him and pointed out that I was in fact getting ready to get off the bus and was only trying to gather my things, and/or make sure that my backpack wouldn't go toppling over again (it did so 3 times on this ride when I momentarily let go of it) but I could tell that he had his mind made up, and my explanation to him seemed to be taken as a bit of an excuse. I was a bit taken aback by his comment, and angered a bit that he could have misinterpreted me like that. I am far from being prejudiced and hadn't had a single worry about my property. I realized that all of the unspokens can be very powerful communication methods too. I realized that in order to be truly understood, we must open ourselves up to the world around us and start communicating. Little did this man know that I was thinking deeply on this bus ride- pondering interconnection, communication, and thoughts as I surveyed my fellow riders. Trying to learn more and probe into their highly separate lives, making assumptions and assessments, just as he did to me, based on their appearance and what I thought of it all....

What a trip! (literally AND figuratively)

PS I'm so glad to be back in school and filling my brain with things other than what everyone wants to look like and how they want to be styled - but I can also appreciate how interconnected the whole process really is - no matter how much you learn or know, it all seems to boil back down to what you look like and how you think....
haha
superficiality may be the death of me

connectedness
I think a lot about how separate I am
I seem to forget about the connections
it's like the 6 degrees
of separation
here I am on my stranded little island
thinking I'm oh so alone
and yet the water splashes
splashes me wet
and rinses me free
water is my friend
and I can hear the wave
the whisper of the sea-foam
the tragic clash of tide
sweeping away my sandy shore
where I once stood tall
where I once stood with someone
the waves have washed away
more than my sadness
more than my link
more than my love
the waves have washed away my time
they've washed away my past
away it has all gone, but no
gently swaying somewhere in the sea
the ocean keeps it safe
the water keeps it moist
the fish keep it company
it's all still here
just the same as everything ever lost
and yet to be found
we have all that we need
on our island oasis
trees for shade
sun for vitamin
food for thought
and I wonder
why it is I feel so alone
sometimes
when everything I ever need
or want
is right here for me
all I have to do is reach.....